Resumizzle

Objective: Escape retail hell, and get paid lotsa monies.

Profile: SWF ISO non-shitty job with good benefits, good sense of humor, and lax dress code. Likes long walks in the rain, swimming with her clothes on, and chocolate. Also likes being obeyed, so underlings are a must.

Work Experience:

Fall 2003-present Gamestop Register slave
-Bullshit buffer.
-Customer doormat.
-Corporate whore.
-Underpaid and overworked.

Fall 2006-January 2007 Waldenbooks Register slave, again.
-Customer doormat…again.

Fall 2000-present Whit Inc.
-General Gofer.


Skillz:
-Makes a mean brownie/cake/cupcake/cookie.
-Masterful misinterpretation of dress code.
-95% of replies are sarcastic and uncalled for.
-Ability to turn almost anything into a “your mom” joke.

Reasons you should hire me:
-I “have a lot to offer”
-I “have more skill in my pinky” than most of your employees have in their whole miserable bodies.
-I’m AWESOME!!!!! (what, you didn’t know?)