Home-comings, Overheard conversations, and sundries.

So I've returned from vacation. I'm alive, mom's alive, the car is unharmed, and I still have enough money to pay rent. We call that *ding ding ding* a WIN. We visited Charleston, Beaufort, Savannah, and Tybee Island. It was not a route I would have chosen for myself, since I avoid the South like the plague (yes, I realize I live in the South by some people's calculations. Shut. Up.), but it was very beautiful and I'm glad I got to go. I don't think I'd go back to South Carolina again, because it scares the shit out of me, but Georgia is a definite return spot. I have many pictures, snippets of which will pop up in this blog forthwith, and many stories, all of which I'm willing to share. I'm contemplating printing out my digital photos (shocked gasp) and making a travel log like I used to. We'll see how that turns out.

I'm making plans to go to the National Cherry Blossom Festival and the Smithsonian Folklife Festival, both of which are in DC. Cherry Blossom is the first two weeks of April, Folklife is the weekend before and after the 4th of July. If anyone wants to accompany me, I'd be more than happy to have them along, although I wouldn't reccomend the folklife festival if you have an aversion to hot weather.

On the topic of overheard conversations...here's a gem:

Person 1: "I had the God of War 2 video running until some mom complained and I had to take it out."

Person 2: "Did you tell her that when Jesus comes again, he's going to have a big fiery sword and be lopping people's heads off?"

Person 1: "Yea, I told her he was the only real answer to the Zombie Menace. She didn't buy it though."

If you're like me, you now have a visual of Jesus, resplendent with fiery sword and real gliding action, lopping off the heads of hordes of vicious zombies. Our savior, for real.

So I saw my cousin, briefly, on my way home from the vacation. He's getting married in July, and we were discussing his wedding plans, and it came up that I'm legally allowed to perform marriage ceremonies. So there's a slight chance that I could end up marrying him and his fiance, which would be awesome. However, my extended family would be horrified, so I'm sure it won't happen. It also came up that I can legally (contemplate this for a second) make Holy Water. I'm thinking about marketing Holy Water with the slogan "The power of Christ compels you, bitch!" Punk Holy Water, Holiness with Attitude. . . I like it. Get-rich scheme #456. And also, if there's ever a serious Vampire problem, I'm your woman.

Here's a song.

I lied. It's not a song. But, I came across this splendiferous (80% sure that's a real word too.) word today, and I feel like it needs a post of its own.

Y'all ready for this?

Ahem.

Estivate (verb): To pass the summer in an inactive or resting state.

Yup. That's its only definition. Now, my question is, who thought this up? Who actually spent time creating a word to describe that phenomenon? Was it needed?

I'll leave you with these words of wisdom, brought to you by Lobster Magnet: "Right claw north! LEFT CLAW SOUTHHHHHH!"

Doilies in D Minor, Part II

Or, How I Went Crazy in a Sane World.

Should anything untoward happen to me, there is nobody who will know my story. It is my vanity that makes me want people to know it. Even if it is only 3 people who happen upon this blog, at least my story will be read. And it is not only my story; it's the story of contemporary America. America likes to pretend the world still works according to antiquated ideals and rules and laws, but it isn't true. The youth of today is rotting inside out. And it's not the drugs or the sex or the rock and roll that's causing its decay. It's something more general, more surreptitious. It's the quality of life that has emerged in our horrifying country, something that has crawled out of the wreckage of the brilliant ideals America was built on; the blissful suburbs, the morals printed in the glossy pages of magazines, the democracy, the "work ethic", the "patriotism". These are imaginary truths that unfortunately are granted far more creedence than they deserve in this day and age. And so the other truths are neglected and forced into the shadows, and America's future rots in the gutters and the streets and in the Juvenile justice system. America as a whole should do itself and its children a favor, and stop focusing so much on how life is supposed to be, and take a good luck at how life is instead.

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EDIT: My mother wants me to remove this, because I've hurt people by writing the truth. I'm removing it as a favor to her, and because my intention was not to hurt anyone. The point is this: I don't write out of bitter revenge. I'm very good at exposes, but I don't do them, because contrary to popular belief I don't like hurting people. I don't like the way that society and culture IS. There are a lot of people who are content to say that yes, it sucks, but it's just the way it is. I'm not one of them, and if that knocks me down to petty complaining, I'll take that rather than bland acceptance. Life is not about the lesser of two evils. There should never be a point in life where it's ok to say "yea, this sucks, but o well." I don't like this culture, society, or government. I think there needs to be a change, a drastic change, an avalanche of changes. Everyone asks me if I have an idea, an utopia in mind, some perfect plan. Nope. Things don't change or get better by being the same. Stagnation is not the fast track to evolution. The best way to get things moving, in one way or another, is to introduce something new to the situation. It's like a chemistry experiment with no instructions; just throw ingredients in, and see what happens. I'm throwing my piece in, and what I have to offer. Things don't have to go my way. I don't even have a way, per se. But shit, they need to go somewhere other than here. If you agree, don't be afraid to throw something new in to the well-oiled gears of this American machine. Rules are made to be broken, right? We wouldn't be here if it weren't for some whackos crazy new idea 200+ years ago. Look at the world through a new lens, and see where that takes you.

"I wouldn't want to overdo it with positive feedback."

That quote is precisely why my district manager is an asshole. I'd go more into depth about how much i despise him, but I'm way too angry for that right now. So i'm gonna move on to a safer subject, and feel assured that you're hating him with me.

Nick made some sort of crazy "my opinion matters" list for 2006. He inspired me with his boldness to make a list as well. However, I'm not Nick, so my list isn't gonna be about video games (much), and will focus more on my primary hobby, reading.

I read a lot of books this year, and because I feel guilty qualifying them, I'm just gonna list the excellent ones and why they are awesome.

Elantris by Brandon Sanderson: First and foremost, the best book I read all year. It's a stand-alone fantasy novel, and it's the most original fantasy story I've read, ever. It also has one of the most realistic and strong female protagonists I've seen since...well, since Phillip Pullman's series, His Dark Materials. All you need to do to fall in love with this book is read the first page. It's two paragraphs, and it will make you buy it, I swear.

I managed, at last, to read through The Illuminatus! Trilogy, which has been sitting on my bookshelf for years. It's totally bizarre, and it hurt my brain to read it. I don't reccomend you try it unless you have a grand history with hallucinogenic drugs, or are schizophrenic. Maybe both. It's about conspiracy theories, and at the same time human nature, the evils of society and government, and the evils of anarchy. I'm glad I read it, but I honestly still dunno what it was REALLY about. It's written in 3rd and 1st person, and it skips through narrators, viewpoints, geographical and temporal locations, all without any warning. There are singing dolphins, too. And a computer that marries a sea monster. My head hurts just thinking about it. As a redeeming factor, there's lots of promiscuous sex!

On the subject of conspiracy theories, I finally gave in and read The DaVinci Code. I actually wasn't very impressed. It seems to be one of those pop culture things, where I'm not sure how it got popular to begin with. As an author, Dan Brown leaves a LOT to be desired. In short, he's a good storyteller, but his characters suck. Any attempts at character development are just embarassing, and any dialogue not involving his research is lifeless and boring. To his credit, he does a lot of research for his books. But, it's not new research. He reads nonfiction, builds up fantasies about the topics he's reading about, and then writes them into a story. I also read Angels and Demons which was better, but nothing great. Brown takes erudite learnings and turns them into pop culture fiction, and it sort of takes the magic out of it for me. That sort of knowledge shouldn't be fed to the common idiot, because then you get people who say "Dan Brown invented the Freemasons". No joke, I just heard this the other day.

DaVinci Code intrigued me, and offered little to sate my curiousity, so I went to the source and read Holy Blood, Holy Grail. This is where Brown got most of his research from, and if you were interested in the topic, you should read this and just skip right over DaVinci Code. Conspiracy theories aren't really my thing, but religion and the study thereof is a hobby of mine, and this was delicious to read. The prospect of the fundamental basis for modern Christian belief being proven wrong is interesting, and the theories this book embarks on are fantastic. It also touches on the history of medieval Europe, which is something I love reading about. And, to my delight, it puts a lot of emphasis on the Feminine Divine. Female divinity and Christianity in one...such sweet sacrilege.

On another topic, I picked up Herman Wouk's Don't Stop the Carnival, a novel based on his exploits in the Caribbean in the 1950's. It's very funny, and I was pleased to see that the ambience and the mechanisms of the Caribbean haven't changed much since his adventures and my more recent inhabitance. The book includes both the ridiculous humor of the islands, and the tragic incidents that make up day-to-day life there. I would highly recommend this for anyone who is looking to visit or move to the Caribbean, just to give you a general feel for what you're unwittingly walking into.

I have managed to introduce Christopher Moore and his myriad titles to my little "group" of people, and I'm thrilled with the results. For anyone who doesn't know, Christopher Moore is a fiction writer with a sick and absolutely wonderful sense of humor. My favorite part of his books is his ability to illustrate the relationships between people with as few words as possible. A few quips and silly lines of dialogue, and the reader has no problem believing the humanity of the characters. He has a new book coming out on the 23rd of this month called You Suck! A Love Story and I aquired an advanced reader's copy of it that has so far cycled through 3 of us, and is available for more. I think it's one of his best books, along with A Dirty Job (about an unsuspecting father who becomes death...sort of) and Lamb (the story of Jesus as told through his childhood pal, Biff). I also read The Stupidest Angel right before Christmas, a holiday story with zombies that has a psychotic ex-B-Movie actress who thinks the Sand Pirates are out to get her. And Roberto, the fruit bat from Guam who wears RayBans. It just gets better, I swear.

I read more, I swear. These are just the highlights that sort of defined the year for me. I have spent more of this year reading than I have playing video games. That's a good thing, I think, because I love reading very very much. Plus, I've mastered multi-tasking to the extreme. That's right folks; I can successfully main-heal in FFXI and read a book AT THE SAME TIME. I rule! Unfortunately, I'm still playing FFXI. I can't seem to tear myself away from it for good. I like my character, dammit, and I love some of the people I play with. And I'm really really good at my job! That shouldn't mean so much, but it's nice to be able to do something I know I'm awesome at.

Point of interest: There's going to be a blue moon in May!!!! Exciting!!!!

"I Rule!"

Story time.

When I was a little girl, 7, 8, maybe 9, all those years blend together...I was living in the Caribbean, in the "gut house", my paradise. I had a birthday, as happens once a year, and it was at my house. Lots of things can be said about my mother, but, above all, my mom can make special occasions fantastic. This year, she'd invited nearly every girl in my class at school. Everyone was supposed to dress up in their frilliest dresses and bring their favorite dolls (dressed in their frilliest dresses too, of course). And they did, and we all sat around the table on the deck in our beautiful dresses with our beautiful dolls, and we made crowns to wear, and we ate cake, and we were all beautiful happy little princesses. In the gut house, me and my family lived with a single dad named Bill and his son Jesse, who is one year older than me. Bill and Jesse, and my dad and my brother, had all been kicked out of the house for the day. It was just us girls.

It started raining after the cake. And Caribbean rain is not like the rain here. It's torrential, it's warm; it's a blessing from the sky, and it falls mercilessly upon the islands and the ocean, sometimes without warning. And so it rained on my birthday, a beautiful torrential monsoon. We were all little girls in pretty dresses; we were all Caribbean girls, and it was raining. And so we went out to play in the rain, because rain is wonderful. Most of us didn't make it out the door fully clothed; mom didn't want us to get our pretty dresses muddy, so, since we were practical children, we took them off and left them laying on the tiled floor. Some of us kept our panties on, but it wasn't mandatory. I think that was the best birthday I have ever had. There's something about running through the rain with your friends, most of you butt-naked, feeling the mud squish between your toes, and laughing. Always laughing.

And, at the end, Jesse and Bill came down the driveway, and we all ran screaming and naked through the rain into the safety of the house. Except for me, who, at the sign of a car, ran around the back, scaled the deck (naked, mind you) and let myself in the back way, donned my dress, and opened the front door as prim and proper as I could be.

It was raining today, and I jumped in a puddle on the way to the bank. It got my skull socks wet, and I could feel the muddy water trickling into my shoes. I will never, ever grow up, and that is just the way I like it.

Look who's crying now.

I want to thank all the people who have offered to listen if I needed to talk about the Ed situation. Chances are I won't take you up on the offer if you're asking, since chances are you're friends with both of us. But, the thought is appreciated, very very much. I am trying to do the honorable thing, and not put anyone in a situation where they feel like they have to choose sides. So, thanks for putting your shoulder out there for me to cry on. It'll stay dry, I promise.


In other news, my dreams are back. It was a nice reprieve, but apparently nothing to get used to. A few nights ago, I had a very detailed dream about someone killing my newborn daughter while I watched helplessly. That one lost me about half a night's worth of good sleep. If I had a dream deity, I'd thank them in a very sarcastic manner. Last night, I enjoyed a very long and involved episode in which my sister (which I don't have, by the way) was deemed psychotic, and so abducted by "doctors" who were going to give her "therapy". They imprisoned her in an underground pit, and tortured her mercilessly. She escaped several times, but each time, they reclaimed her and dragged her back down to hell. And I knew, and nobody else would believe me. I kept trying to rescue her, but they always got her back, and they wouldn't hurt me or let me join her or take her place. All I wanted was for her to be safe.

I could do without my dreams.

When I was in college, my best friend tried to kill herself. She was in another city, and although I called the police who took her to the hospital, I wasn't there in time to help her myself. To atone for the guilt I felt at my absence, I decided to clean the evidence of her attempt out of her apartment so she wouldn't have to do it when she was released. It was a lot of blood, and I will never forget it. The nightmares started after that, and they have never gone away. I do not believe in divine retribution, and even if I did, I do not believe any divinity would punish me so much for being late. It seems I have done a very good job of punishing myself, for whatever imagined transgressions I've committed.

Bad things happen, in abundance. Horrible terrible things, counterparts to all the beautiful wonderful things that make up life. In the end, I think the major damage is done by ourselves, though. The bad things happen, and we choose how they effect us. I make bad choices, with good intentions. The bad things bruise me and scar me, more than they should. Long after the pain is gone, the scars and bruises remain. Has my life really been so different, so much worse, than anyone else's? Probably not, in the end.

Welcome to the Year of the Scorpion

That's right folks. It's officially 2007, the Year of the Scorpion. I hear some dissension. "No Sarah, It's the year of the Pig in Chinese culture." Well, fuck you nay-sayers! We've seen signs. Just look around you. The scorpions are there. They're eating your foodz, and steelin ur dataz...They're hiding in your celebratory crackers, merging with your jewelry. We can compromise if we must, and it can be the Year of the Pig-Scorpions, or Scorpion-Pigs. But don't steal the scorpions' thunder. It's their year; don't be afraid to acknowledge it.

So this year, ye olde 2007, do as the scorpions have done before you, and rock out like you've never rocked before.

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The first excitement of the year has pounced upon me, like some giant pouncing thing. It has come in the form of knowledge. Creepy, philosophical-theological knowledge, disguised in my fantasy books and my MMO of choice. Now, I am a big fan of mythology. I've studied a lot of western religions solely for the cool stories. Deities are excellent characters, and mythology is a fantasy dork's dream come true. One thing I've neglected, to my disadvantage, is Christianity and its predecessors. This is because of some bad blood between me and Christianity; things were said, and we haven't spoken in years. I have never read the bible; excerpts, yes, but not the whole lengthy tome itself. I have a general idea of the stories etc, apparently a better idea than many people I know, but I haven't made any efforts to study it. So, I don't honestly know the nuances of separation between the Christian sects, or even between Judaism and Christianity (sad, I know). I realize not many people have played FFXI who are going to end up reading this, but, I'm sure you've all played a final fantasy game at some point along the way, and are familiar with their versatility of monsters at their disposal. I've recognized a lot of the names they use; Ifrit, Fenrir, Cerberus, Mandragora, etc etc. All taken from various mythologies worldwide, and ingeniously used. I've always been impressed by the amount of research that went into the mobs at some point. In the recent Final Fantasy games, there's a mob called an Ahriman. It's a giant eye thing with wings. You know what I'm talking about; they confused you in FFX and made you kill yourself with your big sword. Those jerks. Well, in FFXI, there are Ahriman too. Not to bore you with the details, but in the high level Dynamis (-.- raid for you WOW noobs) story lines, the second to last boss is an Ahriman mob called Angra Mainyu. He's an asshole, but I've faced him several times and lived to tell the tale (go me). I never thought to look up his name; I thought it was something made up, or related to a previous game I'd never played. Well, completely unrelated to FFXI, I'm reading a heavily theological fantasy series currently, and encountered a God named Angra Mainyu while reading. Coincidence? I think not. So, I wikipediad it. Well, like I said, anything related to the creation of Christianity I tend to ignore. So, I've unwittingly tuned out Zoroasterian thought. Turns out Ahriman and Angra Mainyu are from Zoroaster himself and his mighty, and completely unexplored by me, writings. So get this: Angra Mainyu is the nemesis of the light and creation god Ahura Mazda in Zoroasterian thought. Ahriman is another name for Angra Mainyu. I'm thoroughly intrigued and wish to learn more. If anyone has any suggestions as to a good and unbiased source on Zoroaster, I'd be much obliged. It sounds way interesting. Ahura Mazda is the god of the sacred fire, the creator of empirical truth, and defender of that which is observable. Angra Mainyu is his adversary, the polluter, the lord of anti-creation, and characterized by chaos and the "lie"-destruction of empirical truths. Angra Mainyu's mantra is "ill thoughts, ill words, ill deeds". This is all fascinating to me, but what I think is really cool is that the Ahriman abilities in the final fantasy games are all formed around inflicting chaos and confusion, which seems extremely apt.

And, here's a word of the day/week/whateva:

Hypostatize:
-construe as a real existence, of a conceptual entity
-To ascribe material existence to.
-to treat or regard (a concept, idea, etc.) as a distinct substance or reality

This is an excellent one, so I'm upping it to 15 points for correct usage in a conversation.

Ok, good night. All hail the scorpion!