Do you ever feel like you're standing on the edge of a high cliff? Like, as long as you don't look down, you'll be fine. But as soon as you see it, you'll fall off it and never be able to get back.
I've been waiting for a yes or no from a job I applied to. My plan, if it can be called that, was either to get a yes, and turn in my 2 weeks here, or get a no, and look for another job. It's getting harder and harder to wait, though. I love my store very much. I feel like it's mine, and collectively ours (the group who works there). I take pride in how I run it, and how much I know about it. But my extreme loathing for the company that runs it is building up, and one day the dam is gonna explode, and there's nothing I can do about it.
I fairly blatantly have a "problem with authority". People telling me what to do gets under my skin, fast. So a certain amount of irritation is to be expected, and I work past it most of the time. But when my corporate bosses tell me that because I'm a girl I'm unfit to have managerial responsibilities, that whips me into a red hot fury, the kind that people don't escape from. I'm not exaggerating, by the way. A District Manager of a neighboring district told us that female employees who feel uncomfortable closing alone don't deserve to have the responsibilities of a management position. Nothing in any of our job descriptions say "willingly put yourself in obvious danger to make payroll costs cheaper for your bitchass company". And gender has nothing to do with whether someone deserves a position or not. But, that's the company I work for.
I do realize that there's a lot of bullshit that you simply have to swallow at any job. But there's a line, and they've crossed it. And there really is a point where I have to either leave and keep my dignity, or stay and hate myself for staying. And I think that point is nigh.
/sigh.
I could use more quality time with my loved ones, I think. It's so easy to lose track of time in relation to my....relationships. Worst sentence ever -.- Optimally, I'd like to hang out with my friends at least every other day. But there's always work, and it always gets pushed further and further...
I'm standing on that cliff, and I'm terrified to look down. I'm afraid of what waits at the bottom.
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7 comments:
brilliant post title.
condolences on your work situation.
do you check craigslist?
It's total bullshit that any representative of GameStop would say that. I really encourage you to write a letter to HR about it. I'd almost expect Joe to have written one himself upon hearing about it.
Along other lines, I totally know how you feel about spending more time with friends. I am really fed up with school at this point, because I have to make social sacrifices so that I can do busywork papers all the time.
But things will get better.
First of all, I think that post title should be on a t-shirt. I love it.
I would encourage you to speak out against any sexist treatment from this company (or any business for that matter). A letter to HR would be a good idea. In addition, I would also encourage you to post on JobVent.com (you will notice entries, including mine, for Gamestop there already).
In terms of spending time with friends, I can relate quite well. But not because I don't have time. I do actually have the time to spend with friends. The problem is that I don't have any of latter. Which puts me in the same situation in the end.
Even after living in Wilmington for over a year, I still haven't made any friends. So that's why I'm coming to visit everyone in May. In some ways, this town really sucks sometimes.
zomg michal. you're gonna come visit??? excitement!!!! we have to...you know...do stuff.
thank you all for being supportive. that means a lot. and thanks for not calling me a rabid feminist, which i feel like sometimes. x.x
So another manager and I were the ones who spoke up about this whole situation at our last meeting. After having a young woman killed in one of our stores and three of our stores held up at gunpoint in the last few years as well as a neighboring store held up just a little while back we were curious how we should confront our associates when they asked WHY THE HELL ARE WE CLOSING ALONE. I asked our fearless leader how we should deal with closing alone and the safety issues we have with it. I even brought up that I had a female closer and that even though a woman may be able to kick a man's ass that doesn't mean she isn't more likely to be robbed. Well he blew it off and told us it was part of the business. It sounds like he even had a fun conversation about it with other DM's. Oh how I love the company in which we ask vital questions about safety and I get told that it happens in all companies at some point and there is no way to stop it so we just have to know how to deal with it correctly when it happens. Wonderful mentality don't you all think? Of course the other mngr screamed to corporate about it and got chastised by our DM and RD and a visit from corporate to get his feedback on the situation. It got cameras in one of our stores but alas we still have a schedule that wants us to close alone. Gotta love it. Sorry to make you all listen to my rant. I want to say I was floored when I heard that a DM said this but I am not. I wasn't surprised at all. That is why we need to take a jump off that cliff. I congratulate one of us for already having done it. The water down below can't be nearly as bad as the fire at our backs.
Yes, that's right. We're gonna stay with Joe and Misty during the weekend of May 25th. My hopes are that we'll get to go to Animazement. And of course we'll have to get together with everyone else. So don't be out of town!
P.S.: Believe it or not, I'm kind of a feminist myself. Comes from being raised by a single mother I suppose :P.
Damn, Joe. That's serious bullsh!t. I vote we write up a big article on it and plaster it all over the net!
If we can have a good account of your first hand experiences written up by both of you, I vote to edit and spread it :D (sorry for the alliteration).
We can of course keep everyone anonymous, which we probably should with something like this.
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